Tuesday, 31 December 2013

Last day of 2013

Well, I have been long time don't burn mid night oil,
now, 2.51am..
I am still awake, not doing revision
but just watched a drama, <I May Not Love You> last episode.
I watched it few months ago.
Feeling bored and played it again and watched again.
And it make me feeling of...
I miss my dear boyfriend. T.T

Since we are getting higher semester in university,
We are getting no time to connect with each other
Sometimes there only have 2 short message, good morning and good night.
Time flies, and we are in a relationship for 2 years.
I feel glad, grateful, happy and blessed to have he to loves me.
In this period of time, 
we are focusing in our study and this is the priority of being a student.
We are not look like a couple as me did not do something that couple usually do
like talking few hours phone, few hundreds of short message everyday.
I feel I am so lucky to have the trust between he and me.
I really appreciate everything that he did for me.
I still remember, 
He told me that during night, before sleep, he always think of me.
I feel touch and I also always think of him before I closed my eyes and sleep.
A secret that I have plenty of unsent good night message to him
because I always fall asleep before finished type the message.

We never try count down and welcome the new year.
and now the year turn from 2013 to 2014
in Chinese term 1314 means forever.
I really wish that I could spend the moment with him together 
and count from 2013 to 2014

Jieh, I really miss you.
and I feel sorry of being ignore you due to I always that busy.
I hope you can understand and forgive me.
If i got your support to me,
I believe this is the biggest treasure that I have.

All the best to your exam this Thursday on 2.1.2014
I am here to pray for you. ^^

Count down for 13 days,
I am going back home.
and We can meet again.. <3


Thursday, 12 December 2013

明确的目标

最近的确被活动,功课,种种的问题困扰,甚至蒙蔽了自己的目标
渐渐的,我变得模糊了,糊涂了。。。

我不知道自己究竟是在做什么

我承认,埋怨多了
我身边的人也跟着怨声四起了。。。

有时我非常地无助,
我想的,与别人想的不一样,
沟通上的问题
目标不一致
这就导致了很多的问题

我害怕
我懊恼
我不知道应该怎样的去把每个人的心拉回来

我们不能和别人相提并论
毕竟,我们的集合是因为一样的信仰 
我没有权力去选人

很多时候,
我恨我自己
我恨自己没有办法顾好你们
我恨自己我不懂得讲话
不懂得鼓励别人
我恨自己没有时时地给与关心
我恨自己关注学业多过关注你们

这几天我反思了
我们缺少了共同的目标
前进的理由

我也不知道自己想做什么...

唯独,改变思想,改变心境

很多时候我身不由己,
我没办法做自己想要做的事

我多么想我可以很自在的
可是因为身为一个中心者
我不能任性。。。

压力使人成长

以前那个开朗的佩华,你快点回来吧!

Sunday, 8 December 2013

A person that I...

Very busy recently...
Limited time for me to do so many things.
I need some time to relax.
I need vacation.
I want back home!!!

Easy to get angry and bad emotional lately.
I am angry and unhappy with someone.
Someone make me in bad mood.
Someone make me so busy.
and someone like to do decision without concern about others.

I dislike that condition now.
I am frustrated!
I feeling to escape from the nightmare! 

How should I do?

I know this is a horrible things for me.
I shouldn't do that!
But I can't control my emotion.
I can't control my angry-ness toward the person..



I am tired.